Insomnia

Insomnia is back.

Hmmmm.

Heart rate was up while bowling. Since when is bowling exercise?

I'm really hoping that my thyroid levels are just going up and down a bit until they balance out at normal.

We will see!

The Results Are In...

Kind of. We think. My endocrinologist called today and said, `It looks like you have had Post Partum Thyroiditis. Your TSH and free T4 levels are almost in the normal range'. This is very, very X 100 good news. She said that I should feel good in about 6 more weeks and generally women with PPT are 100% normal within a year. I see her again in 2 weeks and we'll see how things are then. My heart rate still gets really high quite quickly (walking, stairs, etc). I tried to jog a week ago, because I was so excited that I was having a good day, and after 4 minutes my heart rate was up in the 190's. She said it's because I have developed additional adrenaline receptors and this should also get better.

Dudes, when you look up Post Partum Thyroiditis, they make it sound like it's something that's not that big of a deal. If that's what I had/have, I did not get the mild kind. I got a severe case that is going to take a lot of recovering. My body has never been so weak. Ever. My leg and arm muscles are so soft. Good thing I've had to continuously lift Koen (22lbs) because that has kept my core somewhat strong. I have a lot of work ahead of me and I have to be patient with just walking right now.

I'm a little hesitant to be 100% overjoyed because I've had 3 different diagnoses within the hyperthyroid realm during the last 4 months. I'm scared that `something' will come up. I guess for now, I just have to embrace my health and assume that it is `just' PPT. My eyes have a lot of healing to do and she said that they should also be better in the next 6 weeks. The steroids have helped with the inflammation but still feel dry, gritty, and are light sensitive.

So thankful. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! Please know that I am truly thankful.

How Am I?

I have no idea. I don't know if I feel sick from a cold, woman hormone stuff, eye disease or my thyroid. Hypo? Hyper? I don't know what symptoms to attribute to what. I don't know if I'm still getting better but just really getting hit hard by a cold that has elevated my heart rate?

I called the endocrinologist today. Office is closed Friday afternoons. Great. I'm assuming I'm in a healthy-ish range or they would've called yesterday...right?! Right?!

I've been putting steroid drops in my eyes from Dr. R. They cleared up the redness overnight. The steroids work to decrease inflammation. My eyes are still dry and gritty and sore. Oh well, at least they don't look bad:)

Have a great weekend. I'm confused:)

Sick

I now have a cold which has knocked out my exhausted body. My eyes are sore and sensitive today after all those tests at the ophthalmologist. I have a feeling that the endocrinologist will say, `I can't say for sure if you have Graves' , Hashimoto's or PPT, so we will have to do an iodine uptake test'. Or something. I'm suddenly not feeling very positive. My body and eyes feel wrong today. My emotional state (as those with wonky thyroids know) is a little out of sorts; irritable, frustrated, impatient...etc. Soon I hope to know what I'm dealing with. Hopefully.

Ophthalmologist

(Terrible picture but I'm too tired to take another and it's hard taking a picture of your own eye at night...)

Today I went down to the AMAZING Eye Care Center down at VGH. It was so awesome. Three floors full of ocular/orbital specialists. It's times like these that I don't mind paying my taxes to see some super awesome specialists. A whole building of people who specialize in eyeballs!

Okay, so my greatest fear about today was that Dr. R (whom I had never met) would say something like `What are you doing wasting my time? There are way more serious cases out there!'. However, that was the furthest thing from what actually happened. I almost wanted to hug him at the end because he was the perfect ophthalmologist for me!

So, although I did end up waiting an hour, he was very efficient, friendly, validating, and I can't think of the word right now, but he talked to me like an equal. Ya know? He was saying things like, `I'm so glad you came in', `You've been doing all the right things', `Your summary is very accurate' etc.

The equipment was awesome and high techy. I was scared because he told me to look straight into this laser beam type light. I'm sorry, but when you've been hiding from the light, that is a scary feat. It was fine. The only actual pain I had was when he had me keep my head straight but look up with my eyes. OUCH.

So, since stopping ALL OF MY MEDS as of one week ago, my eyes have improved a ton. I still need my artificial tears and bright lights hurt a bit but nothing like before. Still red, especially in my left eye, but not as bad.

So, what did the lovely Dr. R say? He said some of the following:

-he is very interested in seeing if I have Graves' or PPT because he hasn't seen (any?) patients with eye problems like this with PPT. Usually, it is just some swelling. I will see him again in 4 months.

-my problems are now considered mild (but he did not minimize it). He was glad they are mild now because it provides a great baseline.

-he gave me a prescription for some new drops that should alleviate the red but not solve the problem of the bumps. He told me the name of the bumps, pterygium or pingueclula, which are deposits of fat and protein due to eye irritation, generally a lot of sun or wind exposure. I don't see how I could've gotten it from that but I know my eyes have been VERY irritated!

-if I have any change for the worse, call, and he will get me in.

-because it is painful to look up, most of the inflammation has occurred at the base of my eye. He said they could do a CT scan to see how much but it wouldn't be worth it because there is nothing you can do.

-He also told me that his one year old daughter wasn't walking yet and asked if I had any tips:) ha ha.

He was great. He is an ocular surgeon and orbital oncologist. Doesn't that sound impressive? I'm hopeful that my eyes will heal but I really need to take care of them.

My only question now, is do I have TED (thyroid eye disease also known as Graves' Ophthalmology)? I didn't ask. I need to look into this a little. But not now. Must close the eyes. Bon nuit.

Waiting....

I've been off all my meds for 5 days and am feeling better and better each day. I am still waiting patiently for a blood test next week. Hoping that the TSH and freeT4 levels will be able to indicate if it really was PPT or Graves' or Hashimoto's or what. With the thyroid involved, can you ever be 100% sure what's going on? I'm feeling 80% positive that it is PPT which means I will get better without meds, surgery, radiation etc.

What a roller coaster to re-evaluate your life. Like I haven't had enough of those?!

Reason for everything, this I know.

Definitely going to be trying to have a much more stress-free kind of life.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the lack of pill popping. Just a multivitamin and probiotic and I'm good to go!

I'll keep ya posted.

Hopeful

I was going to have a post about what a waste of money the ridiculous naturopath was that I saw this morning (so rude, condescending, expensive....and I let everyone in the office know it too-oops!). However, I have gone from tears and frustration onto an immense amount of hopefulness because....

When I got home from the jerky naturopath, there was a message on the machine from my endocrinologist. She said that my recent blood tests show that I have a bad case of HYPOthryoidism right now and need to get off my meds now. That would explain my goiter growth and my eyes having such a hard time. My meds have slowed down my thyroid too much. MORE IMPORTANTLY, SHE SAID I MAY BE HEALED. SHE SAID I MAY HAVE HAD POST PARTUM THYROIDITIS THIS ENTIRE TIME. I asked about the antibodies that were present and she said I might just be `an interesting case'. She also said that if I had/have PPT I should not have been on PTU (my meds) which I hope had no damaging effects to me.

I will be off my meds for one week and then take another blood test. She said buy the champagne and be prepared to drink it in one week. Here are the thoughts that went through my head in the first 2 minutes after hearing all of this:

-I don't believe it

-I need to believe it. There is hope!!

-I want to go for a run!

-I'm going to be normal?!

-(insert some kind of swear words)

-Thank you God!

-I feel so bad for the people that really do have Graves' Disease and have to live this way their entire life

-Please, please, please let this be true!

-cry, cry, cry

-I can't believe I might be normal!

-I want to go for a run

-I can't go off my meds, I'm scared that I will relapse

-I might be almost better?!

-I need to know what's up with my so I can let the people working on my long term disability know!

-Should I be hopeful? I bet it really is Graves' and I'm excited for nothing.

-I really feel bad for people who have Graves', or any other lifetime illness, without a cure.

So, here are some prayer requests if you are the praying type. If not, please remember that next week I will go for blood tests on Tuesday and hopefully by Friday we will know!

Pray that:

1. That it is post partum thyroiditis and I will be healed!

2. That my heart, body and eyes will heal. My heart still feels very strained and seconds away from a heart attack. I don't know if it's the meds or my thyroid or what.

3. If I am normal, that I transition well into whatever role that may be. My job is now `gone' and we are starting the process of looking into a local adoption.

Woohoo!! Thank you God. Hopeful. Thankful. A little scared.

A New Symptom

Look at my nail bed. You know, where your nail meets the skin. I have a depression there. I'm sure it signifies some nutrient deficiency. I don't care about my nails at all (they used to be strong and long). They are short and brittle. What I don't like is how it indicates that my body is not okay. I can't just take multivitamins, or iron, or whatever I want because it interacts with my meds. I learned this the hard way. So, I am seeing a naturopath, who is apparently very good with thyroids, and I'm hoping that things will improve. I hate that it is not covered, well, sorry, $25 is covered. LAME. Oh well, better than nothing. I see him Monday!!!

My eyes have not gotten better or worse over the past week. I am learning how to cope. I use my lubricants and artificial tears, I wear hats and glasses, and I stay away from bright lights. Oh my goodness, I think a week ago I was holding the light meter with our studio lighting and Gary set it off while my eyes were still open. Terrible, terrible pain. As long as I can still do photography, I will not complain....too much. I was supposed to see the ophthalmologist for Graves in FEBRUARY but I said two months was too long so I'm seeing a coworker of his in 2 weeks!! Woohoo!! I hope I wasn't annoying, I called there two times about their wait list etc. I'm not messing with my health. I will do whatever it takes to get as good as possible.

(Eyes have not gotten worse...below)

Below is my `going out' wear. I wear glasses inside the stores and so far no one has said anything. Phew. The other day Gary came home and I was watching tv in the dark, with sunglasses on. I felt quite pathetic. At least he said I was cute. It just sucks that 90% of my social life (getting out) involves visiting specialists or doctors or BC Biomedical. I mean, they're nice, but still, that's not really cool. Can you think of anything fun to do that doesn't involve light or eyes? Books on tape maybe? Don't mention any bedroom stuff, that was Gary's suggestion. Thanks, dear.

I know things could be worse. I'm scared they will get worse. My goiter has grown and my neck is so sensitive. This is tough with two rambunctious boys. I can't believe I have a life long disease. I never expected this. I expected cancer. No, that wouldn't be better, I know. I'm sure I'll get it anyways. I'm not being pessimistic, just realistic. Both of my parents had it and my mom died of it.

Once a week, I'm like `Okay, as long as it stays like this, I will be happy and enjoy life, just like before' and then another symptom comes. Grrrrrrrr. I really, really do not want to get depressed about this. I really, really need to maintain a positive mindset.

Later this weekend, I am going to post a `Friends and Family; What to Know' kind of post. Things that I would like everyone to know about Graves' Disease and how to support me. So, check back:)

Graves' Ophthalmopathy

Graves' Disease is an autoimmune disease. The antibodies that attack my thyroid also attack my eyes separately. Even if one is under control (my thyroid), my eyes can flare up. I had a tough week on my eyes and have since then taken very good care of them with eye lubricants, lights off etc. They have improved drastically. I asked my endo why it got so bad and she said it could've been too much iodine (I'm not supposed to have iodine).

Key symptoms can include:

-eyelid retraction

-bulging/proptosis

-dryness (YES)

-tearing

-puffiness (YES)

-twitching

-staring

-uneven motion of upper eyelid

-lid lag

-blurring of vision

-reduced color brightness

-double vision

-light sensitivity (YES)

-aching and sore eyes (YES)

There is a 6 level classification for eye problems:

Level 0: no signs

Level 1: only upper lid retraction and stare

Level 2: Soft tissue involvement (pain behind eyes, light sensitivity)

Level 3: Bulging

Level 4: Double Vision

Level 5: Corneal Involvement

Level 6: Sigh loss (due to optic nerve involvement)

So, I am at a level 2.

One study found that over 12 years, more than half had double vision, 28% had reduced clarity of vision, and 60% had bulging.

Here are my well lubricated eyes. It's important to document pictures of your eyes for the ophthalmologist to recognize changes. I don't know if you can see it, but between the iris and the inner part of my eye (right side of picture), I have a small growth. It exists on both eyes now.

Breastfeeding

Some interesting info:

-thyroid problems can affect milk supply. This makes tons of sense as I never had a problem with supply (maybe just for one week in July-ish) because Koen was such a frequent eater. He is the one that kept my supply up. I always thought he ate more frequently (every 2.5 hours for 6 months in the day time and then moving to every 3 hours after 6 months of age and he's still at every 3 hours) because of his reflux but maybe it was because of low TRH, low TSH and therefore low prolactin.

-I'm on PTU, the safest antithryoid to take while breastfeeding HOWEVER, `A July, 2000 study in the journal Pediatrics, however, found that more than one-third of pediatricians and endocrinologists still advise against breastfeeding for those mothers taking PTU, despite some current journal research claiming it is safe.' Apparently it is essential that Koen be monitored every 3 months for his thyroid function but neither my doctor nor endocrinologist has suggested it. I am slowly weaning him right now though so hopefully all is well. I am on a moderate dose so ya, I would be so upset if I had somehow harmed him. However, formula was not an option as he was unable to keep it in his belly, so I had no choice. They suggest taking a small dose after each feeding for minimal transmission to baby.

Risk Factors

So, according to `Living Well With Graves' Disease and Hyperthyroidism' these are the risk factors for Graves Disease. I will put a yes in brackets to those that apply to me, as far as I know.

1. Female (YES)

2. If you have other autoimmune or endocrine disorders (ex. lupus, diabetes)

3. 20-40 years old (YES)

4. family history (if female and have a close female relative with it, you have a 30-50% chance to carry the antibodies...doesn't mean you will get it, but you could)

5. pregnancy (YES...I was 8 months post partum when I recognized changes)

6. smoking (I smoked in the past so I'm not sure if that affected it)

7. nuclear exposure

8. seasonal allergies (YES...so interesting!)

9. gluten intolerance

10. on iodine drugs

11. getting drug treatments

12. heavy metals (ex. mercury)

13. aspartame

14. stress (increases Graves' EIGHTFOLD) (YES, YES, YES)

15. depression, anxiety, panic attacks (YES.....had some 2 years ago)

16. left handed, ambidextrous, premature grey hair

Eye Relief

Last night was one of the roughest nights I've had with GD. My eyes were so inflamed the pain was unbelievable. I can't take certain pain relievers because it can interact with what I'm already taking. I had extreme nausea and I'm not sure if it was due to the pain or due to the fact that I took a Ca/Mg pill and later read that it can interact with my beta blockers. Crap. I'm just going to stick with what I've been doing and add various other supplements etc. after talking to my endo.

It reminded me of being in labour with Kai. I was flashing back to that kind of discomfort.

This morning I got some lubricant eye drops with white petrolatum and mineral oil. Tears Naturale II for day and DuoLube for night. My eyes feel so slippery and lubricated...I didn't realize how bad they were. As for the pain behind my eyes, the inflammation, it usually starts getting bad around 3pm...we will see.

So thankful that it is winter time and overcast. I just went for a walk without sunglasses:) So thankful that we have NOTHING on our agenda this weekend for the first time in probably a year and that Gary is home all weekend. Phew.

I can see that I could very easily get depressed over all of this. I keep going with the hope that remission is there and I will reach it and in one year I will be normal for some time. That's my desire, hope and prayer.

This disease, left untreated, can be deadly. I need to watch out for thyroid storms which can be brought on by stress or infection. So, if you see me madly sanitizing my hands, that is why. I can't get sick.

For some reason my goiter has doubled in size in just one week.

Okay, on with the day....

Good Read

Just need to say I am madly reading `Living Well with Graves' Disease and Hyperthyroidism' and I can't put it down. So much information that is going to help me so much!!

I cannot wait until Gary gets home so I can go out and buy all that I need (Cu, Mg, Ca....). Why don't doctors tell you these things?!

I will have some good summaries later. Why didn't I get this book weeks ago?!

Thyroid Health Clinic

Last night my sister and I went to a `Thyroid Health' clinic put on by a naturopath. A few things I learned:

-just from being in the room with bright fluorescent lights, I had to wear sunglasses inside. So embarrassing. Fortunately people there probably understood. Another reason why working would be difficult.

-my thyroid hormones and meds are passed on to Koen through the breastmilk. I knew the PTU was and that is it the `safest' one to take while breastfeeding. I wish I knew more on what the high levels of T3 and T4 did for Koen and how much of an increase he got. Info out there is so confusing. I hope I did nothing to hurt him in any sense. I said I was starting to wean him and she mentioned how that will mess me up too....I need more info!!! I am trying to give him one whole milk bottle per day and wean very, very slowly. I really wonder if I had it during my pregnancy with Koen (my heart rate was quite high compared to my first), if so, there were def. risks there but he seems to be okay. Maybe I will get the doctor to check out his heart today and ask for a blood test for him? I need more information!

-during my period, I feel like I become hypo and she said it was likely due to the estrogen. So yes, that is why I am so tired, cold, and have brittle nails during that week each month.

-I need to eat goitrogens; soy, turnips/kale/broccoli, cabbage, peanuts, pine nuts, millet, sweet potatoes...

-she recommended bugleweed but that needs to be closely monitored by a naturopath

-I asked about eliminating dairy and wheat and she said no. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. She just said a healthy diet was most important.

-when she asked for some hyper symptoms (she already had a list of some), I couldn't come up with anything. How could I not come up with the symptoms I've been struggling with for 3 months?! My mind is so slow and forgetful.

Off to the doctor this morning....

Choices

I feel like Graves has made some decisions for me and I don't like it. I don't like anyone or anything telling me what to do. I cannot go back to work right now. There is no way, unless I want to feel like I'm dying of a heart attack/anxiety attack every second of every day. If I was 100%, I would totally go back. I love my kids and I love the school I work at. Having both makes you appreciate the other more.

I feel like the choice to try for a 3rd biological child was taken from me. I mean, I'm in the midst of the chaos and worst of it now, so maybe my thinking is skewed, but this is how I feel. Taking my meds while pregnant can cause birth defects. Not taking my meds could lead to miscarriages. Having another child could take me right back to the beginning of this crappy journey all over again. Having another child would mean seeing specialists throughout the pregnancy. And then, I think of adopting. What if we can't adopt because I can't get into remission. What if I can't get `normal'. I am so happy with my 2 boys and Gary BUT I would like to make the choice out of health and not because I can't do it. Does that even make sense?

I've been having major chest pains for about a 6 days now (I really can't keep track of anything). It started out at about 1 hour per day. I would say it was about 6 hours straight yesterday. I'm waiting for another symptom before I do something about it. The pain did migrate to my left shoulder but then went back to my heart. It has gone down to my legs a bit and then went back to my heart. I'm 99% sure it's the coronary arteries spasming but seriously, for so long? To feel like you are going to have a heart attack in 5 minutes, all day long, is not fun. I am able to act normal so you would have no idea. Gary knows. Poor guy, I hope he doesn't get sick of hearing all about it for....forever. Last night I prayed that I would wake up in the morning. I feel the need to write letters to my kids in case something happens. I keep Gary very updated on my symptoms in case something happens, he can tell `them' where I'm at. This is ridiculous. This is not what life is supposed to be like.

I went to the employment office today to see about the possibility of a short term disability coverage. I said that I am able to work (photography...or I have the ability to do some desk work or something) but not teach, which is my job. I am not eligible because I am able to work. That's fine. Whatever. Sucks. I'm nervous about living on one income. We have never done it. Good thing I'm so thrifty/cheap...whatever you want to call it.

Every morning I wake up and open my eyes and say a quick little `God, please don't let my eyes bulge out' and I touch my eyelids and make sure they feel okay before I take a look. So far, they look okay. Often red and very tired, but I can still see and they still look normal. I guess I should see an opthamologist?

Well, I'm looking forward to Wednesday (naturopath) and Thursday (doctor). I've ordered my book, `Graves Disease; A practical guide' and look forward to reading it. Even though I'm a biology major, I know the bare minimum on the thyroid and there is still a TON of info to learn.

Finally, I am so incredibly thankful that I was diagnosed in just 1 week with hyperthyroidism and 2.5 months for Graves. Seriously, people often struggle with it for YEARS before being diagnosed. People often have other diagnoses first like brain tumours etc. So thankful I know what I'm dealing with......

Eyes

One thing that I haven't given much thought to, until today, are my eyes. Sure, they have hurt since day one. Pressure behind my eyes, tenderness around it. I was under the impression that because I haven't developed any more serious symptoms with my eyes that it wouldn't get any worse. This is not the case...it can get worse.

Hormone imbalance can cause swelling behind the eyes, pushing the eyeball further out. In severe cases, it can compress the optic nerve, causing blindness.

Other symptoms include:

dry, irritated eyes
puffy eyelids
double vision (SOME)
light sensitivity (YES)
pressure or pain in the eyes (YES)
trouble moving the eyes

Taken from: http://endocrine.niddk.nih.gov/pubs/graves/
`About 25 percent of people with Graves’ disease develop GO (Graves' ophthalmopathy) which is usually of mild to moderate severity. This eye disorder usually lasts 1 to 2 years and often improves on its own. GO can occur before, at the same time as, or after other symptoms of hyperthyroidism develop and may even occur in people whose thyroid function is normal. GO is severe in 3 to 5 percent of people who have the disorder, and smoking makes GO worse.'

Here is a link to a video of Graves Disease on `The Dr's'. http://www.thedoctorstv.com/main/procedure_list/814

Thankfully I only have a mild severity so far. Thankfully I do not smoke. Thankfully only 3-5% have severe effects. My prayer for today is that my eyes do not get worse and that instead, they will improve.

Running

Okay, for those of you that don't know, being active is an important part of my life. I love feeling fit and energetic. Okay, who doesn't? So, I searched for `running and Graves' and came up with some great inspirational stories.

For instance, Gail Devers was a gold medal olympian who lost about 35lbs, her hair was falling out etc and was undiagnosed for almost 2 years. They were even going to amputate her legs at one point. In 1990, they discovered she had Graves Disease and she had radioactive iodine treatment and then thyroid hormone replacement therapy. She went on to win a silver medal in the 1991 World Championships! THAT IS ONE YEAR AFTER TREATMENT!

Did you know that President George Bush Sr AND his wife also had Graves Disease?

Goals

Tonight I went to Costco to buy a bunch of vitamins and random other things that I think I should be taking (according to my initial research). I will be seeing a naturopath next week but wanted to get started on something. I got multivitamins, B-complexes, and a multi-strain probiotic (I know the best acidophilus should be in liquid form but I have no energy to go searching for it right now). Two things upset me there:

1. There were chocolate samples there. They rarely have chocolate samples. I took it, felt guilty, and ate it. I know I shouldn't but it can't make that much of a difference. Right?! How far do I go into a strict diet? What should this diet look like? I'm hoping to get this figured out in the next week.

2. I hate spending money on stuff that isn't fun. Like pills. I don't choose this illness and yet I have to pay for my daily meds and whatever supplements and natural health providers I choose to see. Thank goodness my daily meds (beta blockers and PTU) are covered, I just have to pay the <$10 dispensing fee for my $100 of meds:)

It's starting to sink in that this is for life. I don't know if I should be hopeful and think I'll be `normal Louise' in a year or so. I don't know what goals to shoot for because I like being realistic so that I'm not disappointed if I don't reach my goal. Maybe I need to find a book about it. Maybe I need to talk to the specialist again. I don't know.

Phone Conversation With A Fellow Graves-er.

Today I spoke with a woman who has had Graves for 5 years. We have somewhat similar personalities and outlook on life so it was really good to talk to her. She is actually a woman on an opposing team in flag football so that's kind of cool! I've played flag football for about, oh, 4 years. She was also once a runner but that is one thing that she has not been able to. She is also a teacher and had to take time off when she was first sick, and then returned to a VP role instead. Here are some major things that I got from our conversation (I forget tons but here's what sticks with me):

*No one understands Graves, they just think you have a fast metabolism. Wrong.
*Many people make the comment, `Oh, I wish I had that!' or `I wish I had it for a week!'. Dudes, you don't want it. The weight comes back. The weight is the least of your worries. Her weight also fluctuates by about 7 lbs. My dental hygienist made that comment yesterday...`Oh, I wish I had a touch of it!'. GRRRRRR.
*She lost her dad (I lost my mom) before getting Graves
*We have the same endocrinologist even though we live in totally different cities and we both love our endocrinologist!
*She said that one of the greatest aids to her is her diet. She is on a wheat and dairy free diet. Eliminated caffeine, alcohol, and refined sugar. Many supplements too which I will be figuring out in the next week. I def. need some probiotics for all the lovely woman problems I've got from this and some vit B complexes etc. Need to see a naturopath.
*She said that she really has to watch out for stress in her life or the symptoms come back fast...same here. She has asthma which results in asthma attacks when stressed, I `just' get anxiety attacks.
*PEOPLE DO NOT UNDERSTAND/BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE SICK BECAUSE YOU CAN FUNCTION ALMOST 100% NORMALLLY
*She has to write everything down now as she is so forgetful. I am too. Lists with timelines and calendars are packed. I am very `slow'.
*She says she believes I will be able to bike and hike again. Maybe not running though. Okay. I feel this deep desire to hike with my family. Imagine not being able to do something that is, and always has been, such a big part of your life. Ya.

I have to tell you, I'm nervous about changing my diet FOR LIFE. I know I can't have alcohol or caffeine and that's okay. Dairy, I've done before, I will do it again. There are many soy products out there...just pricier which drives me bonkers. Sugar, I can do it. I know it won't kill me to have a cookie once in a while and I will let myself. Wheat, oh man, I don't know. It's hard because it's not just me, it's my family.

There is another huge issue out there, and that is pregnancy. You can get pregnant with it but I could not be on the medication I am on with it. You would need to see a specialist throughout. Symptoms could be aggravated and it could return with a vengeance afterwards. This is all what I understand right now. Gary and I have been talking about this a lot (even before we found out I had Graves). We have always wanted to adopt (with varying levels of thinking about it) and now, we have the `push' we need:)

Okay, that's where I am today.

The First Two Months

I just want to summarize the first two months of my hyperthyroidism.

It all started one evening when I felt like I was starting to get the flu. Every muscle in my body ached. From my feet to my eye sockets, every muscle felt sore. Over the next few days, I noticed that my heart rate was quite high (over 120 bpm while resting) and I felt short of breath. My hands were trembling. I was losing 1lb per day and eating 6 full meals. Something was wrong. I went to emergency but after waiting for 2 hours, I went home.

Gary, my husband, said that it sounded like I had hyperthyroidism as he recognized the symptoms because a friend of his had it back in university. I went to the doctor, had several blood tests (okay, maybe like 7 vials!) and finally, our suspicions were confirmed. I was put on beta blockers immediately but the symptoms were still quiet strong.

I was struggling with insomnia, being tired but having a lot of energy, anxiety type feelings, and the inability to even walk up the stairs. After several more weeks, I was given PTU (propylthyraci) which has stabilized me. I was/am on 3X50mg of PTU and 3X20mg of beta blockers (propranalol).

The initial thought was that I had post partum thyroiditis as I had my second son just 8 months before. However, in the last week, the results from my antibody test came back and I have Grave's Disease.

My body has stabilized. My weight fluctuates greatly (maybe up and down 7lbs a week), my trembling is in check, my sleep is okay. However, stress affects me greatly. Any kind of perceived stress makes me feel extremely anxious and all of my symptoms return very quickly. I have decided not to return to work (teaching) which will be `interesting' for our family financially.

Other symptoms that I had/have were; sweating (feeling warm), irritability, change in menstruation, hair loss, muscle weakness, tachycardia, poor memory and a general slow down mentally.

I am unable to do more than walk at this point. I am weak. I tried running for 5 minutes and my heart rate went up to 200bpm.

So, this is where I am, 2.5 months after recognizing that I had a problem. It is unknown what causes it but it can be triggered by emotional stress. My mom had passed away 3.5 years ago and my dad had been re diagnosed with bladder cancer and was getting remarried. I had two boys born via C-section. I guess that could've all contributed to the stress?

The plan is to be on my medication for 1.5 years and hope that I go into a long term remission. Who ever though that your thyroid was so important? Wow. So, that's kind of where I was and am at this point.

I plan on altering my diet completely to help control my symptoms. More on this to come.