Interview

Today the long term disability people interviewed me. I had to explain what a day looked like for me back in September, what my days look like now, and why Graves' Disease makes it too difficult for me to teach right now. I wish I knew they would be asking me all these questions so that I could've prepared. While talking, Kai and Koen were ransacking my room and I started getting quite anxious. I finished off crying because I wanted her to understand that although I can function and take care of my two kids, there is no way I could manage a classroom right now. Although I can vacuum and do laundry, carrying something like a vacuum cleaner up the stairs is truly exhausting from my muscle weakness and it takes me time to recover. So yes, I can function, but at a very different level than before. True, my meds should regulate me soon but I don't want to return back too early and risk going back in the wrong direction. She was making it sound like I would only get disability for one month based on my symptoms etc. because my doctor had said on his form that I should be good to go back gradually in Feb or March (which is not my plan).

She will go through all the paperwork and our interview notes and get back to me `soon'...whatever that means. I do feel pretty good, just short of breath, tense, and a lot of anxiety. I've been taking more beta blockers because along with decreasing heart rate, they are really anxiety meds so they've been helping me relax, especially to sleep.

If I don't get it, I will be mad and disappointed. I pay into this crap all the time and I feel that I am deserving of it. We will see!